i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Randomize
