pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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