i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
