she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
