fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
