Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
