guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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