The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
