So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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