But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
