I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
