your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
