I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
