apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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