I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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