You work out of a Hotel?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
