i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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