How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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