my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
