Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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