would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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