with your own penis?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Randomize
