When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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