dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
