im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
