she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
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