Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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