Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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