I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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