i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
