Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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