I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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