come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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