Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
