dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
