You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just blew my weed a kiss
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
