i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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