yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
