You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The power of my boobs compel you
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
