i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
