you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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