Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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