Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She told me I should be a condom model.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
