but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
