She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize