Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Randomize
