We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize