Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
