Christians are straight up FREAKS
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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