i wish there were pregnant emoticons
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
