So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
