just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
