i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
