They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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