**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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