hotel room ftw
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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