For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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