The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
