A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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