I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
