Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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