I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
