I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I am one with the molecules
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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