Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
