so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
