careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
