my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Pooping to opera.
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