Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Randomize