Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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